It’s Final…The final decree of divorce day.

it really is over…

It was on a morning… I wore my black lacey dress and my red stilettos. From my  bachelor rented  apartment, I found myself parked outside the  High Court. My  Attorney waived at me, I walked to him, he led the way. All I could see was benches, old wooden benches. We walked until  Court C, where  the hearing would be held.
Explaining how I felt makes me want to break down again. It pierces deep in my heart and leaves me wondering if really that is the life designed for me. 
I remember how numbi was, how I felt defeated by life. I was shaken by the thought of loneliness and losing what used to be a part of me. 
We were directed to the waiting area, a garden outside the court. It had  benches.
There we were sitting outside – him sitting across me outside waiting garden area… I was startled by how and where it all led to. A once happy couple is now headed towards what one may call peace and the other a seriously dark hollow. 
The 5 years of marriage, the beautiful garden we used for our wedding – The wedding that became the village’s great talk. The wedding that was witnessed by so many people is now turning into shackles. You feel like people can see your sorrow and the heaviness of your heart. But what do you have to do? Get strong for the sake of your mental state? 
It’s just me and him here… No one is here to witness us parting – I guess only the grass, the wind and the outdoors are our witnesses now. Anyway, they witness our union, maybe they should witness this parting. My heart is really heavy and dark. This is my story and it shall continue. One needs to tell it

Divorce let’s talk about it…it’s hard let’s talk about My divorce.

Let’s talk about divorce. This thing is hard, it was damn hard.

It really hit home that my marriage was over, when during the week I found myself at our house alone – he had moved out. I couldn’t sleep on the bed we shared alone… I was sleeping in the  sitting room on a couch. I would be so sad as I listen to Capricorn FM’s Mr Black.

I would turn off the light and try not to feel my heavy chest. It was so heavy as if it was loaded with bricks.

I couldn’t control the flow of my tears. Crying seemed to be what my life had turned into. I used to reflect at what could have went wrong… Where and how exactly did I wrong him? I mean did all that I was told at my bridalshower – I cooked, cleaned our home, cared for my inlaws, let him be the head of the house, and never starved him with in the kitchen or bedroom.

I was wrong to be outspoken and communicating my likes and dislikes. Maybe, just maybe, i shouldn’t have have disagreed with him – maybe all that would have made me a better wife if to say yes to everything even when it hurts us, me, our future, my future, his, or that of our child… but okusalayo here I was all alone. He had left… left me for another woman.